Good Grief

"They lived and laughed and loved and left."  James Joyce

My mother died just over 11 weeks ago. Some days it feels like 11 minutes ago, others it feels like 11 years ago.

Even though she's physically gone, my mom is still with me. She is very close. Nearby. I have never felt anyone's presence like I feel hers.

I can't see her or talk to her or hear her or touch her. But I feel her. I definitely feel her. She is with me.

And I draw great comfort in that.


'Death Is Nothing At All' by Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


(Photo credit:  Rosemary Shumka)

Sweet Baby J

Josephine snuggled in on Grandma's chest.

Our beautiful granddaughter Josephine was born 11 days go.  

I have just returned from a whirlwind weekend visit with the new family in Toronto.

Josephine stole my heart before she was even born.  But now that I've held her tiny body and nuzzled her sweet smelling head, my heart is bursting with love for this little one.

Molly and Jordan are incredible parents.  They are sleep deprived yet still smiling.  They are smitten by this 7 pound bundle of pure joy.

This is the sight that greeted me when I arrived at the Toronto airport.  I immediately burst into tears.

Such doting parents.

Someone's happy.  Someone else is not so happy.

So sleepy.

The newly minted family.

Grandma and Baby 

Perfection.

On Saturday night we went out for dinner to celebrate Molly's 29th birthday.

 Three generations.

 Sweet dreams baby girl.

 Auntie Robin.

 Such a sweepy widdow baby.

 It's not every day that your parents' best friends serenade you complete with ukulele music!

 I couldn't stop taking photos of her!

I was so sad to leave her.  I cried all the way to the airport.

As you can guess, it was a very emotional good-bye.  I am still teary as I write this.  Thank goodness our family is flying to Toronto at the end of November for everyone to meet Baby J.  It will be wonderful to be together as the holiday season begins.

Josephine, welcome to the family.  Grandpa Joe, Auntie Paige, Uncle Will and I can't wait to spoil you rotten.

See you soon!

Pizza Oven. Finally!

It takes a lot of hardwood to get the fire up to 900 degrees F.

The first sunny Sunday in October.  Before the rains came.  Before the winds came.  After 386 days since breaking ground, Joe fired up the pizza oven for a test run.

Be careful not to singe your arm hairs!

This guy in the middle.  This guy who devoted hundreds of hours helping Joe build his beloved pizza oven for the past year.  He and his wife were the obvious choice to christen the oven.  We are thinking of naming it 'The Bruce'.

The first pizza was a little messy coming off the paddle and onto the oven floor.

"I think I need to work on my technique."

Ahhh...this is more like it.

Happy taste testers.

A satisfied pizzaiolo.

Now we just need some dry weather for Joe to get back outside for Round Two!  Stay tuned...

Celebrating LIFE!

Our extended family gathered in Chilliwack to celebrate our Uncle Paul's 80th birthday on September 10th.  

As many of you know, our mom passed away at the end of August.

If you didn't know, our mom loved parties.  LOVED them.  She hated to miss any kind of event.  I just know it must have irked Margaret to no end that she didn't live long enough to attend her own 80th birthday party last weekend.
   

Our amazing Manitoba cousins flew all the way from Winnipeg to celebrate our Uncle Paul's birthday.

Our incredible Chilliwack cousins hosted a weekend to remember.

It was a very special celebration.  We partied with Paul and we remembered Margaret.  

It was a happy reunion of our family.

My cousin Bonnie is a chef and provided all the delicious charcuterie boards.

See what I mean?  Amazing.

Kula loved being a part of it all.

Heartfelt greetings between sisters and cousins.

Family is family is family.  It doesn't matter if we saw each other yesterday or years ago.  The bond is there.  The loving connections remain.

"Love you."

Brothers from different mothers.

Cousin Leslie and her pup Kula.

Cousins Bonnie, Carla and Dawson.

To celebrate their 65th birthday, Margaret made her twin brother Paul a beautiful book of photographs documenting their life together.  It was the hit of the party.  It brought back so many beautiful memories for everyone!

Uncle and nephew.

We had so many laughs that weekend.

Noogies for all.

Homemade quilts as birthday gifts.  Carla finished these quilts for Paul and our mom.

Cousin Gord pouring shots of scotch for a toast.

"TO PAUL!  TO MARGARET!"

Uncle Paul and his kids.

Cousins.

My brother-in-law Kevin taking a quiet moment to look at Margaret's book of memories.

Can you tell they're related?

Me and my favourite Frenchman.

SMOOCHES!

Me and Ken.  One of the funniest men I know.

Cousins under wraps.

Olive and Chrissy.

Uncle Paul and a few of his nieces.

Carving up the pork.

Evening sky.

Thirty people around the table for dinner.

Family.

What a gorgeous night.

Our mom was there in spirit.

80 candles for 80 years.

Reminiscing around the fire.

It got cold during the evening!  One has to keep one's head warm somehow.

Everyone bunked in overnight sleeping in campers and trailers, guest rooms and hotel rooms.

"GOOD MORNING!"

Birds in paradise.

Having my morning coffee with my new friend Jesse.

After breakfast, everyone drove out to the cemetery on Little Mountain where our grandparents are buried.  We spread some of Margaret's ashes at her parents' grave.

Our mother would have balked at us spending $900.00 for an urn to transport her ashes from Squamish to Chilliwack.  So we opted for the 'super-classy-plastic-bag-inside-a-cardboard-box' urn.   

Sisters.

One final good-bye.

The mourners paying their last respects.

Sweet dreams, Margaret.  You were well loved by so many.  We will miss you like crazy.

I cannot thank my immediate and extended family enough for everything they've done for me.  It is their unwavering love and support that sustains me.  Love is love is love is love.  You people mean the world to me.  

Thank you to all of my friends and relations for the phone calls, bouquets of flowers, sympathy cards, meals and e-mail messages.  I promise to respond to each and every one of you.

My sisters and I will host a 'Celebration of Life' for Margaret next spring when my daughter Molly can travel from Boston with her new baby.  We will keep you posted on the time and place.

My love to you all.