Baby Love

Baby love.  Pure and simple.  The love I feel for this little one knows no bounds.

We have just returned from Toronto where Joe, Paige and Will got to meet sweet Josephine.  We spent a week jostling for position to hold and cuddle her.  She went from one pair of arms to another. She slept on our chests while we kissed the top of her head and inhaled her baby goodness.  We oohed and ahhed over every move this girl made.  We were smitten by her infant charms.

We crammed all the winter holidays into our seven day trip.

We celebrated Josephine's one month birthday with party hats, goofy masks and a cake.

We celebrated Hanukkah with a feast of Jewish deli foods shared with beloved friends.

We celebrated Christmas by visiting Santa, strolling about the Toronto Christmas Market, opening gifts under a makeshift balloon tree and enjoying dinner complete with Christmas crackers and tissue paper hats.

We ate in, we ate out.  We enjoyed gathering for our daily happy hour.  We pushed Josephine's stroller up city streets and down residential blocks.  But mostly we sat around staring at our beautiful granddaughter.  We could not get enough of her.

I must admit I had several moments of sadness during this trip.

I wish Will could have spent the entire week in Toronto.  He was able to get just a few days off work. I missed him when he wasn't here with us.

And I kept thinking of my mom who would have LOVED her great-granddaughter.  My mother was the biggest baby hog ever to walk the earth.  It breaks my heart to think Margaret missed meeting Josephine by a mere two months.

As you know, good-byes are terribly difficult for me.  Especially ones like these.  But I was able to hold it together somewhat and for that I am proud.  I wasn't the blubbering mess I was the last time I left Toronto.  (It probably helped that we almost missed our flight to Vancouver due to an accident on the 401 freeway.  By the time Jordan's car pulled up to the airport's drop-off area, Joe and I only had time to give everyone a quick kiss before running to our gate.)

In a few weeks, this beautiful little family is moving to Boston.  I can't lie.  Having them live 5,000 kilometres away is going to be extremely challenging for me.  I am going to have to quickly develop some strategies to help me cope with this long distance separation.

What does help is witnessing the love Jordan and Molly have for each other and how they adore their little girl Josephine.  I find great comfort and solace in that.

Molly, Jordan and Josephine will travel out west at Spring Break for my mom's 'Celebration of Life'. I can't wait.  March 2017 can't come fast enough.

Good Grief

"They lived and laughed and loved and left."  James Joyce

My mother died just over 11 weeks ago. Some days it feels like 11 minutes ago, others it feels like 11 years ago.

Even though she's physically gone, my mom is still with me. She is very close. Nearby. I have never felt anyone's presence like I feel hers.

I can't see her or talk to her or hear her or touch her. But I feel her. I definitely feel her. She is with me.

And I draw great comfort in that.


'Death Is Nothing At All' by Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


(Photo credit:  Rosemary Shumka)

Sweet Baby J

Josephine snuggled in on Grandma's chest.

Our beautiful granddaughter Josephine was born 11 days go.  

I have just returned from a whirlwind weekend visit with the new family in Toronto.

Josephine stole my heart before she was even born.  But now that I've held her tiny body and nuzzled her sweet smelling head, my heart is bursting with love for this little one.

Molly and Jordan are incredible parents.  They are sleep deprived yet still smiling.  They are smitten by this 7 pound bundle of pure joy.

This is the sight that greeted me when I arrived at the Toronto airport.  I immediately burst into tears.

Such doting parents.

Someone's happy.  Someone else is not so happy.

So sleepy.

The newly minted family.

Grandma and Baby 

Perfection.

On Saturday night we went out for dinner to celebrate Molly's 29th birthday.

 Three generations.

 Sweet dreams baby girl.

 Auntie Robin.

 Such a sweepy widdow baby.

 It's not every day that your parents' best friends serenade you complete with ukulele music!

 I couldn't stop taking photos of her!

I was so sad to leave her.  I cried all the way to the airport.

As you can guess, it was a very emotional good-bye.  I am still teary as I write this.  Thank goodness our family is flying to Toronto at the end of November for everyone to meet Baby J.  It will be wonderful to be together as the holiday season begins.

Josephine, welcome to the family.  Grandpa Joe, Auntie Paige, Uncle Will and I can't wait to spoil you rotten.

See you soon!